Have You Been Told You Have a Victim Attitude?
Some people I work with come to me because they feel like a victim; victimized by life or others. Or some have been told they have a victim attitude about part, or all, of their life and want to find out about that. They have probably heard from others to change their mindset, to choose to be grateful, to re-frame it; in some way to fake feeling empowered and happier until they make it. Most feel that they have no control over this – it is real and they are powerless about it.
In reality, they are in the grips of a core mental state that no one could just shake off in any kind of lasting, meaningful way. This state, or it could be called an attitude, covers the person from head to toe. The body feels the stress of it, the emotions are run ragged by it, the spirit feels out of reach and doesn’t recognize fulfillment... and this attitude dwells in the mind. We all have areas where we feel more and less empowered, able, or capable than others. Why? Because there is something we believe about ourselves that makes it so.
The mind has been subverted from being the amazing data storage and retrieval system, calendar and reminder app, creator of wondrous ideas and out of the box concepts, holder of our truths – into a security and surveillance system. The developer of the system was a fearful, immature, uneducated, inexperienced dictator! You, as a child.
Because the system was in development from such a young age it has come to feel as if it is you. When you look at the world and feel what you feel about that, it is all through the ‘suit’ of the victim attitude. The only way to true authenticity is to step out of it – to begin to push against the suit – to question it – to become curious about it. Notice – does it truly fit you now?
When you begin to really look at it - holes start to develop, it becomes easier to separate it from the authentic you. The fog of the attitude is lifting and suddenly new options – possibilities that did not seem to exist before, are available. Some say it feels as if their luck has changed. Life and relationships get better - because you have dropped a limiting belief about yourself, life or others.
In my work, I call the path through the mind security and surveillance system, The Straight A Progression. First grow your Awareness that you do feel like a victim at times, then Acceptance that you implemented it thinking that it would protect you. Next comes Authenticity where you check out any opinions, judgments, or beliefs you have towards or about others and decide as a mature adult if they are what you truly feel and support now. Then comes Authority – no more wondering – you know who you are, and are empowered to lead and teach as per your inner guidance. The final step is Awakening – understanding that this new mental freedom may trigger new levels of fear and will also bring new levels of joy and fulfillment as you scale up your life.
Do you have frustration, and passive aggressive thoughts and behaviours about an inability to truly show up in the world as you desire? Are you open to expanding into those limited, often hidden places where you hold yourself back? When you are ready, The Straight A Progression will guide you through.
Denise Miller - www.denisemiller.ca