Most of us tend to get caught up in ways of thinking that cause problems for ourselves and the others in our lives. These problems cause stress and upset in our personal and professional lives and relationships. They cloud our vision and affect our judgment of people and situations.

When looking for freedom from thinking problems the first step is gaining more awareness in your life. Look for relationships and interactions that are often stressful. You can usually find communication errors taking place in these situations.

Extreme thinking
When you think you are either a total success, or a total failure. There is no middle ground. Something is either totally right or totally wrong. If you miss one day of your new health regime then it’s all over – completely blown. In this pattern we blow things way out of proportion. We see others gifts as amazing and ours as trivial. We magnify or minimize things instead of dealing with reality.

Paintbrush thinking
When we paint everything with the same brush. If you fail at one thing then you feel like a general failure at everything you do. You jump to conclusions that you are going to fail at something you have never tried and so there are a lot of things you are never going to get to try. ‘I didn’t like to get up in the morning when I was a teenager means that I must not be a morning person and I will suffer mornings for the rest of my life.’

Devil’s Advocate thinking
When you plan ahead for problems that could occur; for the worst that could happen – it’s easy to take it too far. Many of us imagine all the problems that could happen along the way—far ahead of the occasion. It’s good to be ready however many of us spend more time pre-tending to problems that may never appear instead of at-tending to what’s in front of us in the moment.

Blame Game
When blame is a part of your thinking problems it is very dis-empowering. For example – ‘My family are all overweight—there is no hope for me to maintain a healthy weight.’ or ‘Everyone is so negative—I can’t be positive in all this.’ When we are in these patterns we lose a lot of our ability to make changes in our lives. We can acknowledge that an issue or pattern is working in a situation and we can take back our power to change it.

Naming & Claiming
When something happens in life do you slot yourself into a positive or negative label? ‘I’m always late.’, or ‘I can’t do math.’ ‘I’m known for my clean house.’ When we pick up and repeat what others have said about us—especially if it comes from childhood—we allow our selves to believe these opinions. These labels become a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you are looking for a deeper awareness about problematic thinking then have a look at family patterns. Often we learn how to handle issues from watching others handle them. We usually do something like they did – or if we were repulsed by it – vow to do the opposite.

You can find your parents patterns all over these problematic thinking areas – This is why good communication and a clear mind make such a generational difference. When you begin to model clear minded thinking then that is the generational legacy that will be passed on.

Simply by your example.

If you are curious about how your thinking may be holding you back from the life of your dreams, connect with me for a free discovery session!

Denise Miller
Mindset and Relationship Specialist