In articles and videos I have written and spoken about ways that we jump to assumptions and are triggered by others because of what they do and say. They trigger us to jump to preconceived ideas that comfort us by having us believe that we are right when we encounter cognitive dissonance and our minds are too closed to be available to learning, or accepting others’ opinions and ideas.
Committing to Relational Leadership means learning all about ourselves and the ways we shut others down, or tune them out. After growing your awareness for a while, as soon as the feeling of righteousness arises you will see this as a recognized signal to check in and find out what’s going on.
What belief of mine am I protecting?
Why do I want to shut this person down?
Why am I drawn to being a know-it-all now?
Why do I feel like I have to get them to think what I think; believe what I believe?
What do I get out of behaving this way?
The QuickRead Method I teach will help you to see the deeper reality of a person and is a great tool to accepting who they are and noticing our trigger patterns so we can make more love and less war. 🙂
If you are ready to go a little deeper, practice interpreting underlying communications so you can better support the people around you. If you have a staff member that is very critical, or complains a lot you can be sure that there is something else going on. If you have a manager who interrupts others or is condescending there is something causing them to communicate this way. When we have these communication styles it doesn’t mean that’s the way we are – it means that’s the way we thought we had to be to be successful. Take it from me – even an old dog can learn new ways to communicate.
Build ongoing communication improvement into your business with individual coaching available to all your customer service, sales, and management staff. You will improve the performance, relational capacity, and mental health of everyone you include in the program.
Also check out my quick video about starting a Partnered Communication Practice to help employees be more communicated, and feel more heard. Contact me to see how this training and coaching will help your business grow.