Our reactions are something that developed over time and are often a default setting. It’s our go to for some reason. We decided that a long time ago, so don’t be surprised if it takes a while to get to the root of the cause.
Sometimes we are mimicking the beliefs and reactions of the people that we were around growing up. Other times we have embedded our reactions to those people deeply and they become our go to response to certain behaviours or situations.
The way to get to the root of a reaction is to begin to be a witness to it – as much as you can. At first it may be that your witness self doesn’t kick in until after you have reacted. That’s fine and to be expected. Keep your attention on it and bring awareness to the feeling you were having and what you were thinking when the reaction began. What triggered the reaction? That is your first clue. Ask yourself ‘When did I first have this reaction?’.
Our minds are amazing things – you may remember a certain time, place, and person you were around. This is when you can really start bringing more awareness to it. It was in the darkness – now it’s in the light where you have more choice around the reaction. You know what triggers you. Ask yourself; Is this even something I am really afraid of or angry about?
Would it be OK to not react, now that you are looking at it as an adult with your own thoughts and beliefs? That choice will become more real and available and you’ll have more capacity to decide not to show the reaction. It’s still there, however you have a growing degree of control over it. You are being more your authentic self and dismissing things like this that were there without your conscious choice. Gradually you can let go of the reaction internally as well as externally.
The great thing is that once you have taken back your power from one of these old embedded reactions, the ones that follow are usually easier.
You know your way.
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